Man, Peer Pressure

Alison: I will be off the back from turn one.  My ego will take the beating for your upgrade.  Get Jo out there.  If I have to suffer, she does, too.

Delay

Arun: What's taking so long? The airplane was ready.
Rob: The squirrels are upset.

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Camping

Adam: Quick, take the last of the burger, put the guacamole on it and eat it so I don't have to.

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Dinosaurs

Chance: I'm not a paleo archeologist, but I'm also not a dumbass.

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Best. Friend. Ever.

Chuck, may you find sticks to chew and bunny rabbits to chase in doggie heaven. You will be missed.

Van 2239

Mitch: This is a gutless van. It has no balls. ZERO.

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Lazy

Jen: I'm still trying to figure out how to be lazy in these bike races.
Tim: Don't enter.

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Sequence

Don: Where are we headed next?
Jen: Hell Don, straight to Hell.
Don: Well, duh. But what's the intermediate step?

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TM on Sunday

Phil: How's your Sunday?
Mark: Just as good as Monday!
Don: No. It's $6.50 better!!

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Chocolate

Scott: We had to throw Silas in the shower because he was covered head to toe in chocolate.

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Iowa Storms

Scott: Cecil would not relinquish his chainsaw!

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Drool

Jen: Oh boy, you know what happens when Phil starts drooling.
Don: People start slipping.

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Kamakazios

Pio: That's what I meant by default.

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Sorry, Phil

Don: All part of Operation: No Fog Lights.

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Don's Fortune

You will die penniless and alone, with lots of cats.

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Naked Juice

Phil: Gently pasteurized? They rub its back while they pasteurize it. Very scientific.

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Meat Fest

Brad: That's just what I need, a big ol piece of meat slathered in sugar. Then I'll lay there like an anaconda and just let it ferment.

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Hangovers

Zana:  I wish I was a badass Honey Badger. Then I would be impervious to alcohol toxins.  And I wouldn't give a shit.

Miss-n-Out

Guy:  I saw you guys forming up at the back of the pack there and I was like, "huh, uhuh-huh, I know how this movie plays out."

Warm Up Circle

Sile:  Hey, get back on your side of the bed!

Dick's

LJ:  Take a look at Miller and take a look at me.  Then tell me who you thinks eats more burgers.

Work

Tim:  Does anyone work around this place?
Jen:  NO.  They just walk around asking stupid questions.

Team Sports

Zana: I'm heading to the track tonight to watch the races.
Jeny: Fabulous.  Then you can see me bitch-slap Alexie if she gets out of line again.
Zana: Why ELSE do you think I'm going?  FIGHT, FIGHT, FIGHT!
Jeny: Unfortunately, I don't think blood bounces on the track like it does on the ice.
Zana:  I wouldn't let that stop you.

Deterring Criminals

Phil:  You can buy bags of lady bugs online, I wonder if you can buy bags of black mamba snakes too.

Relationship Bookends

Adam:  I may have had her at "hello" but I lost her at "pigeons are tasty."

Dirt Cake

Jeny:  Hey Susan, you're from Wisconsin.  Do you know what dirt cake is?
Susan: No...  what is it?
Jeny: Basically crushed up oreos layered with chocolate pudding served in a plastic pot.
Susan:  Oh no Jeny, no no no no no no no!!!

Peebles

Pat: I ate sushi in Ohio. What risks did you take today?

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Dentist

Phil: I warned the girl that my tongue gets all crazy when it's full of novocaine.

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Yardwork

Dad: I worked outside too but I didn't shower because I'm a manly man.

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Mentorship

Jen: Who's Melissa?
Bernie:  Oh, um, yeah, she's the, uh, OTHER girl I'm helping write her thesis.
Jen: You two-timing son of a bitch.

Webex

Curtis: Can you guys keep it down over here? I'm trying to listen to this propaganda.

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Quinoa

Phil: What is it?
Jen: Quinoa. Kinda like rice.
Phil: Where's it from?
Jen: Africa?
Phil: Probably has ebola in it. If you turn into a monkey I'll know.

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Sloves

Dan:  Well, at least you're empathizing with a T-Rex right now.

Cribbage

Adam:  You wanna ice-axe me in the kidney?

Life After College

Jason: I've done my best phone interviews after a couple of beers.

Jen and John

Jen: What's in my pocket?
John: Phil's roll.
Phil: I need a break.
Jen: It's called retirement, Phil.

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Fitting data

Charlie: Why do it half assed when you can be a complete ass?

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Trident

Mark: Anyone else want some bean dip eraser?

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Love-Hate

John: That sounds like my relationship with eggs Benedict.

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Kettlebells

John:  No, Jen's Spiderman.  You're like Mosquito Girl.

One year

Paul:  I haven't seen cat poo in the garden in three hundred and sixty five days.

Epic Ales

Jan: Are they too cool for your brewery, sweetie?

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Old technology

Tim: No one answered my emails.
Joe:  Let's try the old-fashioned way.
Tim:  Carrier pidgeon?  Or... one if by land, two if by sea?
Joe:  Or the phone, let's just go back one century.

What's the plan?

Phil:  What's going on?  Are we going over there in a few minutes?
Jen:  I don't know.  I thought you were in charge of this operation.
Phil:  I'm eating a banana.

Eating habits

Phil: I try not to eat breakfast. I know what will happen. Beer is bad enough. You eat breakfast too and you're done for.

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Whoops

Tim: Uh oh. NASA crashed a rocket into the ocean.
Jen: What?
Tim: Yeah, that's not outer space.

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More TM fun

Phil: You know you can hypnotize pigeons that way.
Tim: Jesus Phil, why do you know that?

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Tuesday night trivia

Cole: I guess I shouldn't holler at bitties. I guess I shouldn't call them bitties either, huh?

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There's a difference.

Don: I'm not cynical, I'm just tired of this shit.

Measurements

Zana: I would like to impart my infinite metric imperial f*ck ton of wisdom here: boys are stupid.

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Pick up Lines

Rob:  Manny thinks I should get a tshirt that says "I'm a rocket scientist.  Wanna see my rocket?"  With an arrow pointing to my crotch.
Jen: Really?
Manny:  YEAH!!
Alexis: I bet that would be *really* successful.

Testing with Phil

Jen:  Phil!  If you don't shut up, we'll all be here 'til next Tuesday!  Quit running your mouth and go start the test.
Phil:  I'M HERE FOR SCIENCE!!!

Phil:  I think I have a utility that will do that.  But it's been so long since I've made a mistake I'll have to relearn how to use it.

Running Quote of the Day

Pat:  Helicopters with guns are ALWAYS better than helicopters without guns.

Apple Pie a la Phil

Phil:  I have to make an apple pie tonight.
Jen: Why?
Phil:  I don't know.  Because I make an apple pie once a week.  Keeps me busy.

Happy Birthday Bernie

Fred:  Oh, Bernie, it's your birthday?  How old are you?
Bernie:  18 + 21.
Fred:  Oooh, next year is the big one.  Are we doing anything?
Bernie:  Um, sure.  We can have cake!
Fred:  Oh, I thought maybe we'd go to Vegas.

Ignore Jason Mode

Jason:  Phil.  Hey Phil.  Phil!
Jen: Phil, Jason's calling your name.
Phil:  I don't care.
Jen: Did he piss you off?
Phil:  No.  Today I just don't care.

A chat with Zana

Jeny: I should be able to accommodate all the women, but you can't invite the boys because there is certainly not room.
Zana: Boys are not invited. They're stinky.
Jeny: And have cooties!
Zana: No shit.

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Back to Pax?

Mark:  Hi James... gee I sure do miss going to Pax.
Jen:  Can it, Miller!
Tim:  Mark, you lying sack of shit.
Mark:  Well, there's some folks sitting around me who don't feel the same way.

Birds

Joe:  Wait, why is it good luck?
Jeny:  I think that it's just something people say to make you feel better about a bird pooping on you.

Women's ride to Burien

Zana:  I didn't want to hit the bottom of this hill at 35mph with a soft front tire.  Be careful too guys, there's a little off camber section near the bottom.

[One giant descent later.]

Jeny:  You know Zana, I got about halfway down the hill and thought to myself:  I don't know what "off camber" means.  This could be bad.

Wisdom of the SDL Shop

Brad:  I drank a lot of beer in high school and I did a lot of drugs too.  Now I come here, sit at this table, work the accels for you guys.  They pay me a lot of money too.  Life is pretty good for me.  You - you're all stressed out.  You are a victim of your own life choices.

Aware

Mark:  Oh, I'm suppose to be aware?  You want me to be aware?  Ok, I'll be aware.  This is me being aware.  I am so full of aware right now.  I am dripping with aware.

Psychic

Rich: I'm reading my palm.
Jen: What's it say?
Rich: That I cut myself.

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Working with Noise

Curtis: Where the hell is my scientific calculator!!!

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Green Bay

Gary: You know, those guys who paint themselves up look pretty silly, but the Cheese-hats are really the most ridiculous of all.

A token of appreciation

Peter: I'd get you guys Tully's cards, but you don't have them down here.
Jason: No, all we have is the bikini baristas down the street.

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New Lights

Tim:  It's brighter in here right?  I don't like it.  I can't work like this.

11 for 2011

Jen's goals - or resolutions as some my call them - for the coming year.

1. Get a monthly massage.  Focus on keeping my back healthy.
2. Communicate better and continue to grow in the relationships that are important to me.
3. Reduce grain, dairy & sugar intake.
4. Finish this damn thesis.
5. Operate on a budget and make financially responsible decisions.
6. Improve at-desk posture.
7. Institute a weekly "community" gathering, i.e. movie nights, summer pitchers of sangria in the backyard, Sunday morning brunch potlucks.  Invite all my friends.
8.  Build myself a hot tub!
9.  Incorporate a commute to work in ways that aren't driving my car: bike, bus or carpool.
10.  Take more pictures.  Bake more cookies.  Go to more concerts.  (But first finish that thesis.)
11.  Be more spontaneous; don't get into a daily/weekly/monthly rut of doing the same things over and over.

Joel & Charlie

Joel: ... and then you come in here, and walk over to this table, and load it, test it, load it, test it...
Bernie:  They sound like an old married couple right?  So which one of you is sleeping on the couch tonight?
Joel: [points to Charlie.]
Charlie:  Who SAT in this chair last?  What is WRONG with you??  I'M not sleeping on any couch. 

Changing a tire

Zana: Three greatest inventions ever - duct tape, zip ties and Coca Cola.

A conversation with Bernie

Bernie:  So you have two options.
Jen: 1) Go sit at Rayleigh.  2) Quit.
Bernie: No, 2 is wrong.
Jen: Dammit.
Bernie:  Your score is 50%.
Jen: 50% = Fail.
Bernie: Sory that's a failing grade.  But wait!  You get extra credit for being lovable.  So you get a 66%.
Jen: Yesssssss!
Bernie: Pass!
Jen: Wait, that means I can't quit.

Lab Dating Scene

Patrick:  Hmm, if I *were* dating George, then I could ask him to do something about Mitch.

Computer Games

Joe: Capture the flag is so much more fun with guns.

Age digs

Jaami:  Hey Jeny, this is Phil Collins.  Thought you might be a little young to recognize him.

Jaami: I think I'm sore from last night's workout.
Lisa: What did you do?
Jeny: KINECT!

Noah's Ark

Dad Petrelli: Elephants weren't made for fifteen thousand feet. You'd need to give them oxygen up there. You'd have monkeys flopping over, giraffes barfing all over each other - it's just not practical!

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San Diego Zoo

Dad Petrelli: Come on Joseph, you'll never make any time walking behind three year olds.

Dad Petrelli: That's not true. Once [eucalyptus] leaves get too weak. They move on to snorting crack.

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10 lessons from 2010

1. Don't go to bed angry.  Say goodbye.  And I love you.
2. Somethings are important in life, the rest is just filler and not necessarily worth your time.  Let go of the excess.  It just doesn't matter.
3. When things fall apart, the people that matter will still be there.
4. Read the ingredients and err on the side of caution.
5. Sometimes you really don't know what a good thing you have until its absence slaps you in the face.
6. Each person you meet is new and exciting, but only for so long.  Or, "eventually everybody turns into a Brian."
7.  Don't spend all your time and energy giving if you're not getting anything back.  Sometimes you need to put yourself first.
8.  Swimming is terribly boring, but can be so therapeutic.
9.  The physical time that someone is in your life is by no means directly related to their impact on you.
10.  You can never have too much patience, grace or humility.  Keep a supply of each at the ready.

Mom's kitchen

Mom: Who put beer in the vegetable drawer??

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Diamond

Dr. Joe: Here you see the carbon molecular structure, kind of like sheets. Here is what happens when you add heat and compression and it becomes much more expensive.

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Bike Team Meeting Highlights

Dustin:  What?  Do you like have exclusive rights on failure?

Zana:  Chakaranda?  F-ing forget about it.

Dustin:  Guess how long my massage was from 4 to 6 today.  TWO HOURS.

Zana: Brad, you're an asshole.
Brad: Yeah, I could be.

Horrible

Scott:  Well, if you had a ham sandwich with mayonaise all over it sitting outside for three days, that would be pretty horrible.  But, if you had a girlfriend with mayonaise all over her, sittting outside for three days, that might not be as horrible.

Matlab Objects

George: I feel sorry for your brain.

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Paleo Diet

Andrew: The monks drank beer, so it must be fine.

Perspective

Joe: I've got something in my eye.  Ugh.  I hope my eye doesn't fall out.
Jeny: Yeah, that would be awkward.
Joe: I might lose my perspective on things.

Thanksgiving at the Brown Turtle's

Mikey:  You know when you see a disco ball it's like a PTA safehouse.  You think, "those must be good people.  The must know good people too.  Like ABBA."

Scott: This year I did a pretty good job of pacing myself.  But next year, I'm gonna have a little bit of puu puu's, a little plate of dinner, and a big f---ing bowl of pie.

Seattle Snow

Joe:  Wanna do a 360 and see if we end up going straight???

Animal Lover

Kareem:  I once stopped traffic so that a snake could cross the road.  But don't get me wrong, I'm not some kind of super animal lover.  I ride my bike through Marymoor Park everyday and I see if I can ride close enough to the geese to kick one.  I mean, I bet I could launch one of them REALLY far.  Like, punt it all the way back to Canada.

Temperature

Bernie:  Well, Jen, no one can say that you're not warm and cozy on the inside, and if they do...
Jen: F--- 'em.

Breakfast at the lab

Joel:  I saw Bernie earlier.  He was eating Corn Flakes.  With Raisins.  Always something healthy.   To start the day anyway.  Me - I eat a can of tomatoes.
Jen: With salt and pepper, I assume.  Are they whole?  Or diced?
Joel:  Oh diced.  I used to eat whole ones, but then I dropped one and you know what happens then.  You know how they shampoo the carpets every year?  I think it's because of my whole tomato incident.
Jen:  I see.  I've been eating eggs in the morning, maybe I have it all wrong.
Joel:  You should try the tomatoes sometime.  I have two can openers at my desk and you're welcome to borrow them any time.

A New Dell

Pat: You buying a new desktop?
Fred: Yeah, I need to replace my wife's computer.
Pat: Better than replacing your wife.  Cheaper too!

Factory Testing

Don:  What did I tell you this was gonna be like?  That's right, two footballs f---ing a monkey.

More Pax

Chuck:  We *could* finish by Saturday, yes.  All the air in this room *could* fly up to that top left corner too, but I'm not worried about it.

Definition

Jaami:  Well, why don't you just try relaxing then?
Jeny:  Wait, what?  What's that?
Jaami:  I'll google it for you.
Jeny:  Great.  Maybe Wikipedia has an entry on it.

Removal of Edna

Eric: Good luck with the surgery. It's basically just removing some fat and skin, so I'm sure you can row a few days later. Duh.

Cycling Shoes

Chuck:  Beautiful, sexy and empowering?  Hell, I might get a pair!

Preflight

Ricardo:  Why are you guys all looking at each other like you've just seen fire for the first time??

College

Rachel:  I don't understand why all your classes were so hard.  Mine were easy!
Chad: That's because you got a degree in journalism.

How did that happen?

Bridget: By jove, I think we're turning in to grown ups!  Dammit.

LUC

James: Sorry my crews were being JACKMUNCHES and hogging the entire canal!

The SDL Way

Joe: Does George know his training isn't working?
Jen: No, I think we've just been discussing that amongst ourselves.
Joe: Ok.  Well, let's wait a few more days before we tell him.