Thanksgiving at the Brown Turtle's

Mikey:  You know when you see a disco ball it's like a PTA safehouse.  You think, "those must be good people.  The must know good people too.  Like ABBA."

Scott: This year I did a pretty good job of pacing myself.  But next year, I'm gonna have a little bit of puu puu's, a little plate of dinner, and a big f---ing bowl of pie.

Seattle Snow

Joe:  Wanna do a 360 and see if we end up going straight???

Animal Lover

Kareem:  I once stopped traffic so that a snake could cross the road.  But don't get me wrong, I'm not some kind of super animal lover.  I ride my bike through Marymoor Park everyday and I see if I can ride close enough to the geese to kick one.  I mean, I bet I could launch one of them REALLY far.  Like, punt it all the way back to Canada.

Temperature

Bernie:  Well, Jen, no one can say that you're not warm and cozy on the inside, and if they do...
Jen: F--- 'em.

Breakfast at the lab

Joel:  I saw Bernie earlier.  He was eating Corn Flakes.  With Raisins.  Always something healthy.   To start the day anyway.  Me - I eat a can of tomatoes.
Jen: With salt and pepper, I assume.  Are they whole?  Or diced?
Joel:  Oh diced.  I used to eat whole ones, but then I dropped one and you know what happens then.  You know how they shampoo the carpets every year?  I think it's because of my whole tomato incident.
Jen:  I see.  I've been eating eggs in the morning, maybe I have it all wrong.
Joel:  You should try the tomatoes sometime.  I have two can openers at my desk and you're welcome to borrow them any time.

A New Dell

Pat: You buying a new desktop?
Fred: Yeah, I need to replace my wife's computer.
Pat: Better than replacing your wife.  Cheaper too!

Factory Testing

Don:  What did I tell you this was gonna be like?  That's right, two footballs f---ing a monkey.