500 jumpies

Corrie: I told you not to do that with the words out of my mouth, now your ass will remind you. 

Walking the bike.

Jen: Whatcha doin'?

Adam: I heard a funny noise. 

Jen: Zoom! You mean the sound of being passed??

Boeing vs. Jack in the Box

Steve: Are you suggesting we offer free tacos with our test services?

4 year old zinger.

Jeny: You can see the gondola through the fog.
Ethan:  Yeah.  Sorta.

Vendor Discussion

Mark: Is this making sense, or do we sound as inept as I think we might be?

Do I look like George Clooney?

Ed: You need to stop using the TV as a mirror. 

Hidden Talents

Gaia: I am the Walrus. 

Antsy

Jen: You need something to do. 

Adam: I'm roasting squash!!

That was the plan 5 hours ago!

Don: ALL WE NEED TO DO IS FIND THE F**KING MODE! 

Feeling Stabby

Jeff: My management won't let me have scissors. 

Prognosis

Tim: What's the prognosis?
Jen: Doom.
Mark: Fatal.
Tim: So, we're not getting out of this alive?

KGB GVT

Trey: Yes, Comrade, I love checklists.

Translation

Mark: SHIT. STORM.

Like that, but better.

Adam: Manatees from Heaven would crush the shit out of you. 

Who let Trey fly the airplane?

Mark: I had a dream that Trey was flying an airplane and it was crashing.

Identity

Ben: Can you still be a stripper if you share a name with a jet company?

Again.

Steve: You've lost control of your team.

Team Data Acq

Pat: So -- two people, who will remain nameless, were having a conversation about this here issue.  one of them asked what value to use and the other said either X or Y.  So I entered X. What you ACTUALLY said was here are two options; one is wrong. Choose wisely.  And I did not.

Ready?

Mark: Are we still imminent?
Tim: It appears I f**ked something up.

Unmarried Cameraman

Jen: I mean he's cute.  And he drives a Subaru.
Rich: You could save money and he could be the videographer at your wedding.
Jen: Wow, that escalated quickly.
Rich: Hey, we're not getting any younger.

VLO

George: You can't back fill a manager with an engineer, even though that is a promotion.
Jen: Is it though?  Is it?

A pint.

Rich: I found a text that said you ate an entire pint of ice cream.
Jen: This is probable, but unsubstantiated.
Mark: That's not that much ice cream.

Pat

Tim: He has a fabulous Cynicism Filter.  Highly tuned.  High Q.  Very fast.  Little delay.

Why are you here?

Tim: What is your purpose in life today?
Jen: Un-f**king what Miller did.
Pat: It's not possible.

Uncomfortable

Ben: It's better to be the hugger than the huggee.

Gonads

Chance: That would be a great name for a football team -- The Nads! Go Nads! Go Nads!

Biology

Chance: We are animals... So we should do it like the Discovery Channel.