Saturday, December 31, 2011

Brown Turtle Cats

Mary: I'm hungry so I'll pick a fight with my girlfriend.

Friday, December 30, 2011

OD

Jen: You can't overdose on meat.

Monday, December 26, 2011

Hair Styles

Jeny:  I'm getting my hair colored in the morning, but I probably won't do anything too drastic, because I probably won't keep going in every six weeks to keep it up.
Adam:  You won't?  This relationship is so over.
Jeny:  Well, I mean... wait, really?

Sunday, December 25, 2011

Green Bay Game

Dad:  Look at that, look at that!  They just let that guy take a 45-mile yard run!

A Drink

Grandma: Do you have any hard liquor?

Saturday, December 24, 2011

Midway Physique

Adam:  You're not even gonna recognize me.  I'll be so round and plump.

Thursday, December 22, 2011

11 from 2011

Top Eleven Things I learned in 2011:
1. Just because you're really good friends doesn't mean you would make a really good couple.
2. Expectations can ruin just about anything.
3. A couple of glasses of Chianti and shoes that make you feel sexy are a winning combination.
4. Pick you battles.  Compromise, but don't announce that you just did.
5. Love & accept people for all that they are.  Your idea of "perfect" doesn't exist - not even in yourself.
6. A first date that leaves you giddy for days is probably the start of something good.
7. Throw out your to-do list for a while.  All those things will be waiting for you when you get back.  Drink champagne, make a mess of the kitchen, stay up late, sleep in, snuggle, relax... just be.
8. Grief doesn't go away.  It hides under the surface and the right combination will bring it out and you'll be sitting in the locker room at work, unexpectedly crying your eyes out.
9. Dogs are mortal beings.  And losing one sucks.  They truly do become members of the family.
10.  Hearing your parents cry is one of the hardest things in the world.
11. You don't need to win to prove something.  But it sure does help.

SDL with Beer

Tim:  You're giggling again.
Jen:  You're TALKING again.

Juxtaposition

Jen: Did you just use "good" and "flight test person" in the same sentence?
Pat: Yes, that good FT person is hanging out with the unicorns and leprachauns.

Muscles

Pat: That was when I was 18 - I was more defined than Webster's dictionary.

Monday, December 19, 2011

Chain of Command

Joe:  You must rank higher than me, I didn't get that email yet.
Mark: I do.

Thursday, December 15, 2011

Meetings

Patrick: What the F---.  This is a waste of time.

Monday, December 12, 2011

Seriously

Adam:  I'm a professional!  Professional what?  Professional marmot farmer!

Summer

Lauren: I need to stay north of the Mason Dixon Line.
Kelly:  You mean the IHOP-Waffle House line?
Lauren: Yeah, fat kids don't do heat well.

Heritage

Kelly:  Oh yes, I am Polish.

This Is What We Call A Healing Crisis

Don:  I looked at my socks and I nearly cried.

Sunday, December 11, 2011

Midway

Adam: Part of my job is making sure the tsunami shelther is ready.

Thursday, December 8, 2011

Identity

Mark:  Master Mangus.  Alias - Evil Genius.

Coup

Jen:  Did you tell Gary that I tried (but failed) to stage that coup yesterday?  He's not answering any of my emails now.
Don:  I just told him you hated him.  I didn't mention the coup.

Kelvin

Don:  That guy walks around with his own Barry White soundtrack.

Monday, December 5, 2011

IT Guy

Mark:  Asking Rob to do any work is like asking my cat to help do the laundry.