Medical Advice (via text)

Zana: Paging Dr. Adam -- Torn calf muscle (pretty sure).  Mayonanaise?
Jen/Adam: Mustard.  Dijon is best.
Zana: Should I eat it or just shove it up my ass?
Jen/Adam: Rectal for maximum effect.  Applied with a pickle.
Zana: Perfect.  It will only match how I feel.
Jen/Adam: And possibly improve it.

Blinky Lights

Joel: Electricity to the rescue once again.

Training

Jen: I ran across my workout plans from winter two years ago.
Pat: You were much harder back then.
Jen: Now I'm soft and squishy.

Why I love my job

Miller: It would have been much easier if we could just saw a hole in the floor.

Still Working

Ken: Crappy commute this morning.  Add that to the fact that I didn't win the lottery and have to be here in the first place.  But at least no one will be trying to pour cyanide down my throat while I'm not looking.

A Gift for Whitefish.

Zana: I can't believe you hid that f--king squeaky toy in the couch!  I found it and said to Pete, Look at this. No way Gaia put that there. No way it got "lost" there. That motherf--ker was put here on purpose.

Measures of Time

Zana: What time are you guys getting up to go to V-Trees?
Adam: Sometime after Pete gets out of the bathroom.

Zana's interpretation.

Gaia: You guys stay up late and embarrass me.

Greatest Tag Line Ever

Adam: Douchebags - Chicks dig them.

Ski Jackets

Pete: I'm gonna put on my blue jacket, cuz we look like a bag of f--king skittles.

New Year's Hangover

Zana: I am 20% cleaner and feel 4% better.