Monday, August 25, 2014

Test Fixtures

Toby: I recommend taking not fighting gravity into that discussion.

Saturday, August 23, 2014

With regards to French wine...

Grayson: Let's funnel these bitches!


Christie: It wasn't getting any younger and neither was I so I figured we were made for each other. 

Friday, August 22, 2014

Man up, Chad.

Grayson: Unless a zombie hit you across the head with your truck bumper during a bar fight, you have no excuse for not being there.

Wednesday, August 20, 2014


Mark: You look French.
Curtis: I do?!?
Tim: But the French are less chubby.

Friday, August 15, 2014

I maintain my position.

Suzanne: Boys are dumb.  Still.  I think I've been saying that since I was five.

Pocket Knife

Adam: Why is there blood on this? Oh wait,  it's wine.

Monday, August 11, 2014

Unfortunate window covering gap.

Andrew: Seriously -- the moon is right in my face. How many thousands of miles away is that motherf---er?

Route Home

Dad: What's the route between Nashville and Dallas?
Andrew: Straight. 

Saturday, August 9, 2014


Jennifer: What movie is this?
Andrew: Bruce Willis Kicks Ass. Not sure if it's #1 or #10.

No helmet laws.

Andrew: Consider it assisted suicide. It's a Libertarian thing. 

Bourbon Tasting

Dad: Ice cubes equal safety. 

Wednesday, August 6, 2014

We all do.

Rich: Why do I have to work with idiots?

Friday, August 1, 2014

The Intern

Becky: That's older than me!
Mark: MOST things are older than you.