Pearly Gates

Random Climber Woman: I don't know where the goats are. Normally they're hanging around... Eating my gear, smelling my pee.

Reaction

Adam: Why don't you wear your hair like that?
Jen: Really???
Adam: At least for the wedding.
Jen: [spits wine out nose]
Adam:  That had the desired effect.

Four Door Car

Jen: ... and I cleaned the bathrooms, and weeded the garden and made a big ass pot of soup.  It was a very domestic weekend.

Pat: You know, a few years ago, the only thing domestic about you was that you lived in a house.

Jim: Yeah, before you know it, you'll be selling that jeep and it will be all over.

Pat: Yep, and that's when we'll know that the pregnancy test came back positive.

Portraits

Jen: Who's that guy?
Pat: That's Leonardo DaVinci.  He used to work in the noise lab.

Surrender Monkeys

Roger:  We've been doing this silly French accent for so long that when I hear an actual French person speak, I say "oh, he does a really good one!"