Mentorship

Jen: Who's Melissa?
Bernie:  Oh, um, yeah, she's the, uh, OTHER girl I'm helping write her thesis.
Jen: You two-timing son of a bitch.

Webex

Curtis: Can you guys keep it down over here? I'm trying to listen to this propaganda.

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Quinoa

Phil: What is it?
Jen: Quinoa. Kinda like rice.
Phil: Where's it from?
Jen: Africa?
Phil: Probably has ebola in it. If you turn into a monkey I'll know.

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Sloves

Dan:  Well, at least you're empathizing with a T-Rex right now.

Cribbage

Adam:  You wanna ice-axe me in the kidney?

Life After College

Jason: I've done my best phone interviews after a couple of beers.

Jen and John

Jen: What's in my pocket?
John: Phil's roll.
Phil: I need a break.
Jen: It's called retirement, Phil.

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Fitting data

Charlie: Why do it half assed when you can be a complete ass?

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Trident

Mark: Anyone else want some bean dip eraser?

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Love-Hate

John: That sounds like my relationship with eggs Benedict.

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