Saturday, December 31, 2011
Friday, December 30, 2011
Monday, December 26, 2011
Hair Styles
Jeny: I'm getting my hair colored in the morning, but I probably won't do anything too drastic, because I probably won't keep going in every six weeks to keep it up.
Adam: You won't? This relationship is so over.
Jeny: Well, I mean... wait, really?
Adam: You won't? This relationship is so over.
Jeny: Well, I mean... wait, really?
Sunday, December 25, 2011
Saturday, December 24, 2011
Thursday, December 22, 2011
11 from 2011
Top Eleven Things I learned in 2011:
1. Just because you're really good friends doesn't mean you would make a really good couple.
2. Expectations can ruin just about anything.
3. A couple of glasses of Chianti and shoes that make you feel sexy are a winning combination.
4. Pick you battles. Compromise, but don't announce that you just did.
5. Love & accept people for all that they are. Your idea of "perfect" doesn't exist - not even in yourself.
6. A first date that leaves you giddy for days is probably the start of something good.
7. Throw out your to-do list for a while. All those things will be waiting for you when you get back. Drink champagne, make a mess of the kitchen, stay up late, sleep in, snuggle, relax... just be.
8. Grief doesn't go away. It hides under the surface and the right combination will bring it out and you'll be sitting in the locker room at work, unexpectedly crying your eyes out.
9. Dogs are mortal beings. And losing one sucks. They truly do become members of the family.
10. Hearing your parents cry is one of the hardest things in the world.
11. You don't need to win to prove something. But it sure does help.
1. Just because you're really good friends doesn't mean you would make a really good couple.
2. Expectations can ruin just about anything.
3. A couple of glasses of Chianti and shoes that make you feel sexy are a winning combination.
4. Pick you battles. Compromise, but don't announce that you just did.
5. Love & accept people for all that they are. Your idea of "perfect" doesn't exist - not even in yourself.
6. A first date that leaves you giddy for days is probably the start of something good.
7. Throw out your to-do list for a while. All those things will be waiting for you when you get back. Drink champagne, make a mess of the kitchen, stay up late, sleep in, snuggle, relax... just be.
8. Grief doesn't go away. It hides under the surface and the right combination will bring it out and you'll be sitting in the locker room at work, unexpectedly crying your eyes out.
9. Dogs are mortal beings. And losing one sucks. They truly do become members of the family.
10. Hearing your parents cry is one of the hardest things in the world.
11. You don't need to win to prove something. But it sure does help.
Juxtaposition
Jen: Did you just use "good" and "flight test person" in the same sentence?
Pat: Yes, that good FT person is hanging out with the unicorns and leprachauns.
Pat: Yes, that good FT person is hanging out with the unicorns and leprachauns.
Monday, December 19, 2011
Thursday, December 15, 2011
Monday, December 12, 2011
Summer
Lauren: I need to stay north of the Mason Dixon Line.
Kelly: You mean the IHOP-Waffle House line?
Lauren: Yeah, fat kids don't do heat well.
Kelly: You mean the IHOP-Waffle House line?
Lauren: Yeah, fat kids don't do heat well.
Sunday, December 11, 2011
Thursday, December 8, 2011
Monday, December 5, 2011
Tuesday, November 29, 2011
Aunt Peg
PW: Hey kid, no you can't eat chalk. And if you're going to cry about it, go in the corner, I don't want to trip over you.
PW: I want to show you my new kitchen tools. [Ball peen hammer & screwdriver.] Oh, this still has chocolate on it from last time!
PW: I want to show you my new kitchen tools. [Ball peen hammer & screwdriver.] Oh, this still has chocolate on it from last time!
Thursday, November 17, 2011
Out Sick
Jen: You gonna show your face today?
Don: Eh. Maybe briefly.
Jen: Miller says he doesn't want your bugs.
Don: That's the only reason I'd come in.
Don: Eh. Maybe briefly.
Jen: Miller says he doesn't want your bugs.
Don: That's the only reason I'd come in.
May Be Bad
Pat: I red tagged your jeep. There's a low cupcake frequency and I figured it must be related to the delivery system.
Monday, November 14, 2011
Entertainment
Tim: You can't just have a couple of guys slapping at each other - you need a real fight! And how do you sell tickets to a mud wrestling match?
Jen: Women in bikinis, that's how.
Jen: Women in bikinis, that's how.
Friday, November 11, 2011
Thursday Night
Chance: I'm so glad you called. If you hadn't I would have gone to Fred Meyer to pick up batteries for my boat lights, and a pint of ice cream.
Thursday, November 10, 2011
Weekend Support
Phil: Well, then let's get Santa Claus or the Easter Bunny to support next weekend because I'm sure as hell not.
Wednesday, November 9, 2011
Making Space
Jen: I'll have to move these wedges.
John: Yes, move them to the hallway with the other wedges. Then they won't be lonely. They've been missing each other.
John: Yes, move them to the hallway with the other wedges. Then they won't be lonely. They've been missing each other.
Tuesday, November 8, 2011
College
Mark: He's the only dude on his floor. In fact, the only dude with a single room too! I don't know why he wants to come home for the weekend. Maybe he's tired.
Construction
Pat: I will be so glad when they're done with this. It's so f-ing loud.
Jen: It will be great - they're turning it into a f-ing park.
Pat: That will be f-ing beautiful.
Jen: That's f-ing right.
Pat: Why are we f-ing cursing?
Jen: I don't f-ing know. You started it.
Pat: Oh yeah. Well, I'm going to f-ing end it.
Jen: It will be great - they're turning it into a f-ing park.
Pat: That will be f-ing beautiful.
Jen: That's f-ing right.
Pat: Why are we f-ing cursing?
Jen: I don't f-ing know. You started it.
Pat: Oh yeah. Well, I'm going to f-ing end it.
Wednesday, November 2, 2011
Company Vehicles
Mitch: The Dodge has a check engine light on. And makes a funny noise sometimes. But don't take it to automotive, because I don't want to be stuck with the Ball-less Wonder and have to use that. Especially if we're in a hurry.
Monday, October 31, 2011
Saturday, October 29, 2011
Thursday, October 27, 2011
Wednesday, October 26, 2011
Mt. Cruiser
Adam: Aw, we should have brought some snow back down with us.
Jen: But would it still be snow at this point?
Adam: We could have packed it in ice.
Jen: But would it still be snow at this point?
Adam: We could have packed it in ice.
Tuesday, October 25, 2011
Waiting Up
Adam: That wasn't waiting up! That was sleeping on the couch waiting for the dog to bark. Waiting up is watching reruns of MacGyver with toothpicks holding your eyelids open with the epipen poised just in case you do fall asleep.
Thursday, October 20, 2011
Wednesday, October 19, 2011
Computer Upgrade
Don: Wait, do you have 64-bit Matlab installed?
Jen: I have no Matlab versions installed. I sent screen shots of the failed installation process to Kung Fu Sonny who is "helping" me with this.
Jen: I have no Matlab versions installed. I sent screen shots of the failed installation process to Kung Fu Sonny who is "helping" me with this.
Tuesday, October 18, 2011
Morning
Adam: I've already ran five miles and had a full breakfast. And then I practiced tuba for an hour. And pulled orphans out of a burning building. And planted a tree. What have you done?
Monday, October 17, 2011
Tall cabinets
Phil: Have you hugged a cabinet today? I was wondering what you were doing - having sex with a cabinet like that is bad for you. You should at least lay it down on the floor so you can look it in the eye.
Wednesday, October 12, 2011
Friday, September 16, 2011
Carniverous Carp
Joe: Did you hear about the electric fence they're building in the Chicago River?
Jen: That sounds like a horrible idea.
Jen: That sounds like a horrible idea.
Thursday, September 15, 2011
Anna Meares
Sile: Have you ever seen such an ass, is that what it takes to sprint like that? Mother of God!
Jeny: That's right! You're gonna need some more junk in your trunk.
Jeny: That's right! You're gonna need some more junk in your trunk.
Wednesday, September 14, 2011
Group Meeting
Mark: Blah blah blah blah....
Don: He needs to be concise.
Jen: He needs to be bacon sized?
Don: He needs to be concise.
Jen: He needs to be bacon sized?
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Monday, September 12, 2011
ADAMS
Mike: Instrumentation, TD.... Hey, since I'm sitting back here now, what's the command line prompt to start Angry Birds?
Saturday, September 10, 2011
Whitefish
Stu: You know, you can use my shower too.
Jen: Nah, it's cool. All three of us fit on this one just fine.
Jen: Nah, it's cool. All three of us fit on this one just fine.
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Saturday, August 27, 2011
Mt. Jupiter
Niki: If loving the shade is wrong, I don't wanna be right!
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Tuesday, August 23, 2011
Monday, August 22, 2011
Tapeworm
Adam: The truth is you cam always go faster. But sometimes the truth hurts.
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Saturday, August 20, 2011
Gluten Free
Sile: I was going to stop and pick up some sandwiches but then I thought to myself, "that little wench doesn't eat bread!"
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Friday, August 19, 2011
Annoying Song
Mitch: Don't you wish your girlfriend was hot like me?
Jen: Yes. Actually I do wish my girlfriend was hot like you, Mitch. You have no idea how many times a day I think that.
Jen: Yes. Actually I do wish my girlfriend was hot like you, Mitch. You have no idea how many times a day I think that.
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Thursday, August 11, 2011
Man, Peer Pressure
Alison: I will be off the back from turn one. My ego will take the beating for your upgrade. Get Jo out there. If I have to suffer, she does, too.
Wednesday, August 10, 2011
Delay
Arun: What's taking so long? The airplane was ready.
Rob: The squirrels are upset.
Rob: The squirrels are upset.
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Monday, August 8, 2011
Camping
Adam: Quick, take the last of the burger, put the guacamole on it and eat it so I don't have to.
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Thursday, August 4, 2011
Dinosaurs
Chance: I'm not a paleo archeologist, but I'm also not a dumbass.
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Wednesday, August 3, 2011
Tuesday, August 2, 2011
Lazy
Jen: I'm still trying to figure out how to be lazy in these bike races.
Tim: Don't enter.
Tim: Don't enter.
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Sunday, July 31, 2011
Sequence
Don: Where are we headed next?
Jen: Hell Don, straight to Hell.
Don: Well, duh. But what's the intermediate step?
Jen: Hell Don, straight to Hell.
Don: Well, duh. But what's the intermediate step?
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TM on Sunday
Phil: How's your Sunday?
Mark: Just as good as Monday!
Don: No. It's $6.50 better!!
Mark: Just as good as Monday!
Don: No. It's $6.50 better!!
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Chocolate
Scott: We had to throw Silas in the shower because he was covered head to toe in chocolate.
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Friday, July 29, 2011
Drool
Jen: Oh boy, you know what happens when Phil starts drooling.
Don: People start slipping.
Don: People start slipping.
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Wednesday, July 27, 2011
Tuesday, July 26, 2011
Don's Fortune
You will die penniless and alone, with lots of cats.
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Naked Juice
Phil: Gently pasteurized? They rub its back while they pasteurize it. Very scientific.
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Thursday, July 21, 2011
Meat Fest
Brad: That's just what I need, a big ol piece of meat slathered in sugar. Then I'll lay there like an anaconda and just let it ferment.
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Monday, July 11, 2011
Hangovers
Zana: I wish I was a badass Honey Badger. Then I would be impervious to alcohol toxins. And I wouldn't give a shit.
Thursday, July 7, 2011
Miss-n-Out
Guy: I saw you guys forming up at the back of the pack there and I was like, "huh, uhuh-huh, I know how this movie plays out."
Thursday, June 23, 2011
Dick's
LJ: Take a look at Miller and take a look at me. Then tell me who you thinks eats more burgers.
Thursday, June 16, 2011
Work
Tim: Does anyone work around this place?
Jen: NO. They just walk around asking stupid questions.
Jen: NO. They just walk around asking stupid questions.
Wednesday, June 8, 2011
Team Sports
Zana: I'm heading to the track tonight to watch the races.
Jeny: Fabulous. Then you can see me bitch-slap Alexie if she gets out of line again.
Zana: Why ELSE do you think I'm going? FIGHT, FIGHT, FIGHT!
Jeny: Unfortunately, I don't think blood bounces on the track like it does on the ice.
Zana: I wouldn't let that stop you.
Jeny: Fabulous. Then you can see me bitch-slap Alexie if she gets out of line again.
Zana: Why ELSE do you think I'm going? FIGHT, FIGHT, FIGHT!
Jeny: Unfortunately, I don't think blood bounces on the track like it does on the ice.
Zana: I wouldn't let that stop you.
Deterring Criminals
Phil: You can buy bags of lady bugs online, I wonder if you can buy bags of black mamba snakes too.
Friday, June 3, 2011
Friday, May 27, 2011
Dirt Cake
Jeny: Hey Susan, you're from Wisconsin. Do you know what dirt cake is?
Susan: No... what is it?
Jeny: Basically crushed up oreos layered with chocolate pudding served in a plastic pot.
Susan: Oh no Jeny, no no no no no no no!!!
Susan: No... what is it?
Jeny: Basically crushed up oreos layered with chocolate pudding served in a plastic pot.
Susan: Oh no Jeny, no no no no no no no!!!
Sunday, May 22, 2011
Tuesday, May 17, 2011
Dentist
Phil: I warned the girl that my tongue gets all crazy when it's full of novocaine.
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Sunday, May 8, 2011
Yardwork
Dad: I worked outside too but I didn't shower because I'm a manly man.
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Wednesday, April 27, 2011
Mentorship
Jen: Who's Melissa?
Bernie: Oh, um, yeah, she's the, uh, OTHER girl I'm helping write her thesis.
Jen: You two-timing son of a bitch.
Bernie: Oh, um, yeah, she's the, uh, OTHER girl I'm helping write her thesis.
Jen: You two-timing son of a bitch.
Webex
Curtis: Can you guys keep it down over here? I'm trying to listen to this propaganda.
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Monday, April 25, 2011
Quinoa
Phil: What is it?
Jen: Quinoa. Kinda like rice.
Phil: Where's it from?
Jen: Africa?
Phil: Probably has ebola in it. If you turn into a monkey I'll know.
Jen: Quinoa. Kinda like rice.
Phil: Where's it from?
Jen: Africa?
Phil: Probably has ebola in it. If you turn into a monkey I'll know.
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Saturday, April 16, 2011
Tuesday, April 12, 2011
Jen and John
Jen: What's in my pocket?
John: Phil's roll.
Phil: I need a break.
Jen: It's called retirement, Phil.
John: Phil's roll.
Phil: I need a break.
Jen: It's called retirement, Phil.
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Friday, April 8, 2011
Fitting data
Charlie: Why do it half assed when you can be a complete ass?
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Sunday, April 3, 2011
Love-Hate
John: That sounds like my relationship with eggs Benedict.
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Tuesday, March 29, 2011
Sunday, March 27, 2011
Friday, March 25, 2011
Tuesday, March 15, 2011
Old technology
Tim: No one answered my emails.
Joe: Let's try the old-fashioned way.
Tim: Carrier pidgeon? Or... one if by land, two if by sea?
Joe: Or the phone, let's just go back one century.
Joe: Let's try the old-fashioned way.
Tim: Carrier pidgeon? Or... one if by land, two if by sea?
Joe: Or the phone, let's just go back one century.
Wednesday, March 9, 2011
What's the plan?
Phil: What's going on? Are we going over there in a few minutes?
Jen: I don't know. I thought you were in charge of this operation.
Phil: I'm eating a banana.
Jen: I don't know. I thought you were in charge of this operation.
Phil: I'm eating a banana.
Tuesday, March 8, 2011
Eating habits
Phil: I try not to eat breakfast. I know what will happen. Beer is bad enough. You eat breakfast too and you're done for.
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Friday, March 4, 2011
Whoops
Tim: Uh oh. NASA crashed a rocket into the ocean.
Jen: What?
Tim: Yeah, that's not outer space.
Jen: What?
Tim: Yeah, that's not outer space.
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Thursday, March 3, 2011
More TM fun
Phil: You know you can hypnotize pigeons that way.
Tim: Jesus Phil, why do you know that?
Tim: Jesus Phil, why do you know that?
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Tuesday, March 1, 2011
Tuesday night trivia
Cole: I guess I shouldn't holler at bitties. I guess I shouldn't call them bitties either, huh?
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Sunday, February 27, 2011
Wednesday, February 23, 2011
Measurements
Zana: I would like to impart my infinite metric imperial f*ck ton of wisdom here: boys are stupid.
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Saturday, February 19, 2011
Pick up Lines
Rob: Manny thinks I should get a tshirt that says "I'm a rocket scientist. Wanna see my rocket?" With an arrow pointing to my crotch.
Jen: Really?
Manny: YEAH!!
Alexis: I bet that would be *really* successful.
Jen: Really?
Manny: YEAH!!
Alexis: I bet that would be *really* successful.
Friday, February 18, 2011
Testing with Phil
Jen: Phil! If you don't shut up, we'll all be here 'til next Tuesday! Quit running your mouth and go start the test.
Phil: I'M HERE FOR SCIENCE!!!
Phil: I think I have a utility that will do that. But it's been so long since I've made a mistake I'll have to relearn how to use it.
Phil: I'M HERE FOR SCIENCE!!!
Phil: I think I have a utility that will do that. But it's been so long since I've made a mistake I'll have to relearn how to use it.
Wednesday, February 16, 2011
Running Quote of the Day
Pat: Helicopters with guns are ALWAYS better than helicopters without guns.
Friday, February 11, 2011
Apple Pie a la Phil
Phil: I have to make an apple pie tonight.
Jen: Why?
Phil: I don't know. Because I make an apple pie once a week. Keeps me busy.
Jen: Why?
Phil: I don't know. Because I make an apple pie once a week. Keeps me busy.
Wednesday, February 9, 2011
Happy Birthday Bernie
Fred: Oh, Bernie, it's your birthday? How old are you?
Bernie: 18 + 21.
Fred: Oooh, next year is the big one. Are we doing anything?
Bernie: Um, sure. We can have cake!
Fred: Oh, I thought maybe we'd go to Vegas.
Bernie: 18 + 21.
Fred: Oooh, next year is the big one. Are we doing anything?
Bernie: Um, sure. We can have cake!
Fred: Oh, I thought maybe we'd go to Vegas.
Tuesday, February 8, 2011
Ignore Jason Mode
Jason: Phil. Hey Phil. Phil!
Jen: Phil, Jason's calling your name.
Phil: I don't care.
Jen: Did he piss you off?
Phil: No. Today I just don't care.
Jen: Phil, Jason's calling your name.
Phil: I don't care.
Jen: Did he piss you off?
Phil: No. Today I just don't care.
Thursday, February 3, 2011
A chat with Zana
Jeny: I should be able to accommodate all the women, but you can't invite the boys because there is certainly not room.
Zana: Boys are not invited. They're stinky.
Jeny: And have cooties!
Zana: No shit.
Zana: Boys are not invited. They're stinky.
Jeny: And have cooties!
Zana: No shit.
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Back to Pax?
Mark: Hi James... gee I sure do miss going to Pax.
Jen: Can it, Miller!
Tim: Mark, you lying sack of shit.
Mark: Well, there's some folks sitting around me who don't feel the same way.
Jen: Can it, Miller!
Tim: Mark, you lying sack of shit.
Mark: Well, there's some folks sitting around me who don't feel the same way.
Tuesday, February 1, 2011
Birds
Joe: Wait, why is it good luck?
Jeny: I think that it's just something people say to make you feel better about a bird pooping on you.
Jeny: I think that it's just something people say to make you feel better about a bird pooping on you.
Saturday, January 29, 2011
Women's ride to Burien
Zana: I didn't want to hit the bottom of this hill at 35mph with a soft front tire. Be careful too guys, there's a little off camber section near the bottom.
[One giant descent later.]
Jeny: You know Zana, I got about halfway down the hill and thought to myself: I don't know what "off camber" means. This could be bad.
[One giant descent later.]
Jeny: You know Zana, I got about halfway down the hill and thought to myself: I don't know what "off camber" means. This could be bad.
Wisdom of the SDL Shop
Brad: I drank a lot of beer in high school and I did a lot of drugs too. Now I come here, sit at this table, work the accels for you guys. They pay me a lot of money too. Life is pretty good for me. You - you're all stressed out. You are a victim of your own life choices.
Friday, January 28, 2011
Aware
Mark: Oh, I'm suppose to be aware? You want me to be aware? Ok, I'll be aware. This is me being aware. I am so full of aware right now. I am dripping with aware.
Wednesday, January 26, 2011
Psychic
Rich: I'm reading my palm.
Jen: What's it say?
Rich: That I cut myself.
Jen: What's it say?
Rich: That I cut myself.
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Tuesday, January 25, 2011
Working with Noise
Curtis: Where the hell is my scientific calculator!!!
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Green Bay
Gary: You know, those guys who paint themselves up look pretty silly, but the Cheese-hats are really the most ridiculous of all.
Saturday, January 22, 2011
A token of appreciation
Peter: I'd get you guys Tully's cards, but you don't have them down here.
Jason: No, all we have is the bikini baristas down the street.
Jason: No, all we have is the bikini baristas down the street.
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Friday, January 21, 2011
Wednesday, January 19, 2011
11 for 2011
Jen's goals - or resolutions as some my call them - for the coming year.
1. Get a monthly massage. Focus on keeping my back healthy.
2. Communicate better and continue to grow in the relationships that are important to me.
3. Reduce grain, dairy & sugar intake.
4. Finish this damn thesis.
5. Operate on a budget and make financially responsible decisions.
6. Improve at-desk posture.
7. Institute a weekly "community" gathering, i.e. movie nights, summer pitchers of sangria in the backyard, Sunday morning brunch potlucks. Invite all my friends.
8. Build myself a hot tub!
9. Incorporate a commute to work in ways that aren't driving my car: bike, bus or carpool.
10. Take more pictures. Bake more cookies. Go to more concerts. (But first finish that thesis.)
11. Be more spontaneous; don't get into a daily/weekly/monthly rut of doing the same things over and over.
1. Get a monthly massage. Focus on keeping my back healthy.
2. Communicate better and continue to grow in the relationships that are important to me.
3. Reduce grain, dairy & sugar intake.
4. Finish this damn thesis.
5. Operate on a budget and make financially responsible decisions.
6. Improve at-desk posture.
7. Institute a weekly "community" gathering, i.e. movie nights, summer pitchers of sangria in the backyard, Sunday morning brunch potlucks. Invite all my friends.
8. Build myself a hot tub!
9. Incorporate a commute to work in ways that aren't driving my car: bike, bus or carpool.
10. Take more pictures. Bake more cookies. Go to more concerts. (But first finish that thesis.)
11. Be more spontaneous; don't get into a daily/weekly/monthly rut of doing the same things over and over.
Tuesday, January 18, 2011
Joel & Charlie
Joel: ... and then you come in here, and walk over to this table, and load it, test it, load it, test it...
Bernie: They sound like an old married couple right? So which one of you is sleeping on the couch tonight?
Joel: [points to Charlie.]
Charlie: Who SAT in this chair last? What is WRONG with you?? I'M not sleeping on any couch.
Bernie: They sound like an old married couple right? So which one of you is sleeping on the couch tonight?
Joel: [points to Charlie.]
Charlie: Who SAT in this chair last? What is WRONG with you?? I'M not sleeping on any couch.
Saturday, January 15, 2011
Thursday, January 13, 2011
A conversation with Bernie
Bernie: So you have two options.
Jen: 1) Go sit at Rayleigh. 2) Quit.
Bernie: No, 2 is wrong.
Jen: Dammit.
Bernie: Your score is 50%.
Jen: 50% = Fail.
Bernie: Sory that's a failing grade. But wait! You get extra credit for being lovable. So you get a 66%.
Jen: Yesssssss!
Bernie: Pass!
Jen: Wait, that means I can't quit.
Jen: 1) Go sit at Rayleigh. 2) Quit.
Bernie: No, 2 is wrong.
Jen: Dammit.
Bernie: Your score is 50%.
Jen: 50% = Fail.
Bernie: Sory that's a failing grade. But wait! You get extra credit for being lovable. So you get a 66%.
Jen: Yesssssss!
Bernie: Pass!
Jen: Wait, that means I can't quit.
Lab Dating Scene
Patrick: Hmm, if I *were* dating George, then I could ask him to do something about Mitch.
Thursday, January 6, 2011
Tuesday, January 4, 2011
Age digs
Jaami: Hey Jeny, this is Phil Collins. Thought you might be a little young to recognize him.
Jaami: I think I'm sore from last night's workout.
Lisa: What did you do?
Jeny: KINECT!
Jaami: I think I'm sore from last night's workout.
Lisa: What did you do?
Jeny: KINECT!
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