#signedupforshit

Zana: Hooo boy, Chance is going to regret doing whatever was more important than this.

Reading Tapes

Mark: Did you ask him about the Sony's?
Pat: Oh god.

Candy Bar Love

Mark: What ever happened to Mrs. Goodbar?

Tim: What if she's buried in the backyard?

Becky: GASP!! Why would she ever marry such a terrible person?

Sliding Scale

Becky: How crazy are you on a scale of one to bat shit?

Group Yawning

Becky: I thought we agreed that Tim was the sociopath. 

Get that man his stapler.

Rich: What will you do if they cancel your VLO?
Tim: I'll set the building on fire.

Energy Level

Jen: I am on the struggle bus today. 

George: Better than under the bus. Bump bump. 

On showering...

Tim: If you wash too much, your skin wears off.

Past Life

Andi: Son, I wasn't going to tell you this. But I used to be a mermaid. 

Summer knew that first.

Lilly: That shooting star you're wishing on could actually be an astronaut turd. 

Cell phone activation

Tim: It seems to contact the server best if it's sitting on a cactus.