Texas Education System

Richard: I can tell Adam has not yet been saved. 

Dylan Visits

Adam: Parenting is exhausting. 

Fire

Marty: Yesterday we had an un commanded smoke release from a resistor that shouldn't have released smoke. 

Transition to Management

Steve: Can you cover for me next week as I travel to St. Louis with my Go4Zero helmet on?

Wayne

Pauline: Some people's purpose in life is to serve as a bad example. 

Sudafed & Caffiene

Patrick: School is back in session so my little vectors brought me a cold. 

Strength

Chance: When I was rowing I could do 8 pull ups. And then I would stop, because it would get hard. And it preserved the idea that I could do infinite pull ups. 

Stale Data

Pat: Did someone forget to pay the telemetry bill this month?

Phil: It's kind of like being stuck in a room with a pole dancer with the lights turned off. 

Booty

Andrew: Did you guys snag that bottle of cider that I stole?
Jennifer: Hell yeah we did.  Right out of the fridge after you ABANDONED it.
Andrew: Nooooo!!  that's the same thing as leaving a baby on top of a moving car!  Thank you for rescuing it.
Jennifer:  Lucky for you Adam and I are responsible adults.

Lane Shift

Jen: Slow down? Whatever. I could take that at speed. 

Adam: I would agree with you, but then we'd both be upside down. 

Bride's Helper

Jen: Is that the wedding planner?

Mike: Yeah. She's an idiot. 

Mother of the Bride

Mike: So, will we see you tomorrow?

Pants

Jen: These are a medium. They're too big. 

Adam: Are they women's? Darn, thought I could take them. 

Jen: If you grow some hips. 

Adam: What do you call these moneymakers?

Introverted

Karen: I don't know where to go to be invisible. 

Bike Maintenace

Jeny: Your job was to put on a water bottle cage. Why is the rear wheel off?

Adam: There's an explanation for that...

I need the eggs!!

Adam: You're sitting on the cooler. 

Jen: You're a master of the obvious. 

Campsites

Adam: Have you honed in on anything on the map? NF-Counting Sheep Road?