Sunday, December 29, 2013


Adam: There are only three bowls: the Rose Bowl, the Orange Bowl and the... Rose Bowl!

Friday, December 27, 2013

Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer

Mom: I know these songs better than you because I was in elementary school for many years. You were only there for the requisite five. 

Heavy Sigh

Becky: How was Christmas with your grandkids?
Lori: I don't like teenagers. 

Thursday, December 26, 2013

Andrew, Technology Genius

Andrew: How do I get the sound to work on this? Oh right - turn up the volume. 

Wednesday, December 25, 2013

One pair of shoes.

Andrew: I should have brought my cowboy boots for sledding. 

Monday, December 23, 2013

Leopard Socks

Regan: No one has ever said, "pour some cement on you."
Jen: Significantly different than "pour some sugar on me."

Adam's Opinions

Regan: Oh I forgot -- you're on the f'ed up side of the couch. 

Dogs are the shit.

Regan: You just stuck your feet in my face. I'm not rubbing your belly. 


Adam: What just happened?
Martina: Regan just got a dinglehopper. 

Thursday, December 19, 2013

Food Safety for the Holidays

Kelli:  The holidays bring on the most incidents of food poisoning, and they can't all be attributed to my mother.

Wednesday, December 18, 2013

Cheese is not linear.

Don: Takes me back to sophomore engineering: you have a linear, homogenous, weightless structure. 

Tuesday, December 17, 2013


Jen: Who wants to help me break some rules?
Mark/Tom/Tim: I do!

Tuesday, December 10, 2013

Dave the Muppet

Dave: You know what I just discovered? YouTube!


Pat: I'm a one trick pony and it's calculus. 

Saturday, December 7, 2013

After Dinner

Regan: Can we take these cookies and go upstairs?

The Flaming Nard in the Sky

Regan: I found my legs in the plumbing department. 

Traffic Pattern

Adam: It's difficult to get across Green Lake. 
Regan: Unless you had a hovercraft. 

The 'Burb

Emily: This baby corners like she's on rails. 
Mike: I've drifted it before!

Why would you hide?

Mike: If I were Bigfoot, I'd be like "look at me, I'm f-ing Bigfoot!"

Friday, December 6, 2013

Mike's Kitchen

Adam: It's ok. We have coriander. Let the zombies come.