BCS

Adam: There are only three bowls: the Rose Bowl, the Orange Bowl and the... Rose Bowl!

Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer

Mom: I know these songs better than you because I was in elementary school for many years. You were only there for the requisite five. 

Heavy Sigh

Becky: How was Christmas with your grandkids?

Lori: I don't like teenagers. 

Andrew, Technology Genius

Andrew: How do I get the sound to work on this? Oh right - turn up the volume. 

One pair of shoes.

Andrew: I should have brought my cowboy boots for sledding. 

Leopard Socks

Regan: No one has ever said, "pour some cement on you."

Jen: Significantly different than "pour some sugar on me."

Adam's Opinions

Regan: Oh I forgot -- you're on the f'ed up side of the couch. 

Dogs are the shit.

Regan: You just stuck your feet in my face. I'm not rubbing your belly. 

Fork

Adam: What just happened?

Martina: Regan just got a dinglehopper. 

Food Safety for the Holidays

Kelli:  The holidays bring on the most incidents of food poisoning, and they can't all be attributed to my mother.

Cheese is not linear.

Don: Takes me back to sophomore engineering: you have a linear, homogenous, weightless structure. 

Rebels

Jen: Who wants to help me break some rules?
Mark/Tom/Tim: I do!

Dave the Muppet

Dave: You know what I just discovered? YouTube!

GRE

Pat: I'm a one trick pony and it's calculus. 

After Dinner

Regan: Can we take these cookies and go upstairs?

The Flaming Nard in the Sky

Regan: I found my legs in the plumbing department. 

Traffic Pattern

Adam: It's difficult to get across Green Lake. 

Regan: Unless you had a hovercraft. 

The 'Burb

Emily: This baby corners like she's on rails. 

Mike: I've drifted it before!

Why would you hide?

Mike: If I were Bigfoot, I'd be like "look at me, I'm f-ing Bigfoot!"

Mike's Kitchen

Adam: It's ok. We have coriander. Let the zombies come.