Monday, March 31, 2014

Too soon?

Adam: Why don't you make like a 777 and get lost?

Helmet stash in the car.

Adam: If a helmet isn't recommended, then it's probably not worth doing. 

Sunday, March 30, 2014

Proper grammar.

Adam: I have to pee myself. 

Saturday, March 29, 2014

Dog Ownership

Jo: We used to have Goldens. We used to be normal. 

Friday, March 28, 2014

Whitefish Reputation

Zana: If you EVER refer to me as "lovely" walk me out to the back 40 and put knot in my head.

Thursday, March 27, 2014

Who's responsible for this power outage?

Chance: My money’s on an angry bear.  I’d be angry too if someone pepper-sprayed my face when all I wanted was a hug.

Safety Glasses Required

Dave: You need to watch out for all those binary bits flying around. They'll get you in the eye!

Support in France

Toby: Oh, I'm not going to work.  I'll just be there to fan the mosquitoes off of you.

Monday, March 24, 2014

Monday Night

Zana: A full bottle of wine is my single serving. 

Saturday, March 22, 2014


Farmer: David Lee Roth is so much sexier than Katy Perry. 

A boot of beer.

Mandy: I'll going to not get shit-faced by sharing!! That could fail in a hurry...

Friday, March 21, 2014

Driving to Regionals, circa 2008

Bill: My legs hurt.
Matt: Your EGGS hurt?
Bill: Yes.  My eggs hurt, and my fallopian tubes are f-ing killing me.

Welcome to Management

Jen: When do I get my new kool-aid cup?
Melvin:  It's in the mail.  You get free kool-aid all day long!

Steel Toes

Rich:  Can I have permission to go get my own shoes so that I don't have to use the gross old loaner pair of shoes anymore?

Monday, March 17, 2014

Adam's Superpower

Adam: You know what I am? An entropy amplifier. In my presence, entropy accelerates. 

Thursday, March 13, 2014

See you in Hell, in half an hour.

Super Pete: Man, I need a hot dog -- or SOMETHING!

Monday, March 10, 2014

Sick Day

Mark:  Bronchitis is only for those who can hack it.

Friday, March 7, 2014

Defined Contribution

Pete: Did anyone know it's Employee Appreciation Day?  80% of my folks are out sick.
Marty:  A number of my employees started getting sick yesterday after hearing the pension news.

Wednesday, March 5, 2014

Hard Questions

Mark: Got any other questions you don’t want answered? We’re having a flash sale on clueless.

Now I have a craving for falafel.

Jim: What's PITA?
Jen: Pain in the ass.

Tuesday, March 4, 2014

Not in the Budget

Jim: The disadvantage of doing business is that it costs money.