What's in Altoids?

Joe: Sorbital for some reason screws up my system. Nothing else does.
Rich: Not meth, not cocaine...

Ready to leave

Rich: I want to see some Joe on Joe action.
Joe: Jen, call us an Uber.
Rich: Joe, you don't CALL and uber. You order one.
Joe: Clearly you're too old for this.

My favorite animal.

Rich: Women love me; I'm a manatee.

Special Skills

Joe: Trey is the Rain Man of BEMS IDs.

Joe leads the way.

Rich: We don't need your alternate directions.

Relocation

Dave: Jen, they're trying to run me off.  And so far it's working.  Soon, they're going to say, "Houston, you have a problem: Dave's coming home."

New 2x

Steph: WTF. This toe steering is ruining my life.

Prism Status

Ben: We haven't had a dumpster fire in at least two weeks, so we're due.

Compensation

Terry: People are coin operated.

The Oops Child

Pat: We weren't supposed to get pregnant while I was on radiation.  Just think how intense Summer would be if I had been at full strength.  The world owes me a thank you.

Whiskey Level Up

Mark: I just recently had bourbon for the first time.  I like it!

New Year's Wish

Nickie: I'm going to go to bed and hope I wake up skinny.

Burnt Mac & Cheese

Nickie: Now I'm totally focused on folding my clothes. THIS IS OUT OF CONTROL.

Christmas Eve ritual.

Andrew: I'm fixing to wrap some presents and drink some whiskey.

Another one bites the dust

Andrea: Have you heard about 2016's latest death?
Jeny: George Michael?
Andrea: No. My sandwich board sign.

Playing nice

Tim: But I didn't put my bike on the rack today. 

Patrick: You never do. Because you're not a cooperator.

The Longhonk

Patrick: It's the action of providing negative stimulus until the situation is resolved and the desired outcome is achieved.

More texting from Jeny & Zana

Chance: When I move to my cabin, perched high on the side of an Alaskan fjord, promise me you'll collect your texts twice a year, print them, and send them to me by salmon trawler.  In return, I will have you to a hermit hootenanny.  By moonlight.

Getting to know your new roommate.

Nickie: I'm pissed.
Jeny: That seems to be your usual state.

New Ordering System

Andy: We broke it.