Friday, April 1, 2016

Wrist bands

Jeny: This is when we become blood sisters. 
Haley: I've been waiting for this moment all my life. 

Saturday, March 19, 2016

Is he even a member?

Bill: Now I can practice the new code... What is it?

Thursday, March 17, 2016

Bernie

Don: DISAPPOINTED!!!

Technicalities

Dave: I knew one day I would regret not going to law school.

Careful what you say in front of HR

Wendy: I can always tell you by their backsides.
James: Is there something we need to talk about?

HP35670

Don: When four channels is all you need.
Patrick: When anything lighter just won't work.

Bernie to JPK

Bernie: What are you doing?

Monday, March 14, 2016

Shrimp

Scott: I'm a sucker for a good crustacean. 

Friday, March 11, 2016

Canine Vocabulary

Pat: It's not "underestimating" to assume the dog doesn't know the word "thrice."

Thursday, March 10, 2016

I tried to nap at lunch but it didn't work.

Steve: I haven't lost sleep over it, but that's because I found out about it today.

Tuesday, March 8, 2016

Launch Shifting

Damion: Time in neutral is time wasted. 

Monday, March 7, 2016

Polka Dots

Toby: Just don't use a red laser pointer because I'll get confused with your t-shirt.

Three Anns. Three Dougs.

John: There's Mean Anne, Nice Ann, and Wild Ann.
Wendy: We had Good, Bad and Ugly Doug.  One is my husband.

I can't tell you much about it.

Wendy: I may need your help doing an estimate.
Toby: For... ?
Wendy: Sure.

Friday, March 4, 2016

Lunch

Becky: My sandwich was delicious hater!!

Update

Toby: We're dealing with our usual catastrophes and disasters, 75% of which aren't actually catastrophes or disasters. 

Tuesday, March 1, 2016

I love wedding season.

Don: We're going to church; let's put on something tight!

Monday, February 29, 2016

Sign the waiver or...

Frank: They'll be upset, we'll be upset and nobody wants to be upset.

Saturday, February 27, 2016

They're ass height!

Don: Why are you having a chair doing a bookcase's job?

Monday, February 1, 2016

Social Media

Jen: I need to spend more time on Twitter. 
Pat: #saidnooneever