Capeline

Tim: Best next thing to Nepalm.

Tuna Head

Jen: Hey, come here.  Gaia's head smells like tuna.
Adam: Ok.  The dog rolls around in the grass -- that's been peed on by hobos -- and you tell me her head smells fishy, and that I should come get up close and personal with it.  I don't think so.

Paragliding

Tim: These are things you can only do in a country without lawyers!

A previous GVT.

Mark:  These people couldn't run a pie eating contest, let alone a GVT.

Jen: Maybe we should have a pie eating contest instead.

...
Joe: What kind of pie?

Vet Assistant

Mark:  In high school, I picked the fur off kitties' balls before surgery.

Cursed

Yenew: Why did we start with test point 100?  Why couldn't we have started somewhere else??  WHY???

Instrumentation Issues

Mark:  I'm not quite to the point where I'll promise to start going to church.  It ain't that bad.

The Cure

Adam: Oh, you had THAT kind of night.

Sleeping Puppy

Jen: She is PTFO'd.

Adam: She had a trying day. 

Finance Focal

Pete: Alan and I are BFF. 

Second Shift

Pat: So what exictiting things have happened here?
Mark: You're looking at it.
Jen: The door opened earlier.  That was kind of exciting.
Mark: AND YOU DIDN'T TELL ME!?!?  I'M RIGHT OVER HERE!

Politics

Pat: Everyone knows the facts have a liberal bias.

Weirdness

Adam: Gaia, you're licking the concrete, that's weird.

Gaia: Whatever. You guys have motorcycles in the living room. THAT'S weird. 

Love

Adam: You can have the last egg. 

Jen: You do love me!

Adam: By love, you mean tolerate, right? That's a kind of love, I'm pretty sure. Jesus said so. 

Dirty Jokes

Chance: I have a finely tuned, highly cultivated inner 13 year old. Nothing gets by - NOTHING!

Workout Regimen

Jo: I don't know what you're doing at the gym - you must be handing out towels cuz you're not doing anything else. 

2013 Volcano Run

Wayne: It went from deluge to holy f-in shit!

Fancy Dinner

Adam: That's how math works -- it adds up fast. 

Texas Education System

Richard: I can tell Adam has not yet been saved. 

Dylan Visits

Adam: Parenting is exhausting. 

Fire

Marty: Yesterday we had an un commanded smoke release from a resistor that shouldn't have released smoke. 

Transition to Management

Steve: Can you cover for me next week as I travel to St. Louis with my Go4Zero helmet on?

Wayne

Pauline: Some people's purpose in life is to serve as a bad example. 

Sudafed & Caffiene

Patrick: School is back in session so my little vectors brought me a cold. 

Strength

Chance: When I was rowing I could do 8 pull ups. And then I would stop, because it would get hard. And it preserved the idea that I could do infinite pull ups. 

Stale Data

Pat: Did someone forget to pay the telemetry bill this month?

Phil: It's kind of like being stuck in a room with a pole dancer with the lights turned off. 

Booty

Andrew: Did you guys snag that bottle of cider that I stole?
Jennifer: Hell yeah we did.  Right out of the fridge after you ABANDONED it.
Andrew: Nooooo!!  that's the same thing as leaving a baby on top of a moving car!  Thank you for rescuing it.
Jennifer:  Lucky for you Adam and I are responsible adults.

Lane Shift

Jen: Slow down? Whatever. I could take that at speed. 

Adam: I would agree with you, but then we'd both be upside down. 

Bride's Helper

Jen: Is that the wedding planner?

Mike: Yeah. She's an idiot. 

Mother of the Bride

Mike: So, will we see you tomorrow?

Pants

Jen: These are a medium. They're too big. 

Adam: Are they women's? Darn, thought I could take them. 

Jen: If you grow some hips. 

Adam: What do you call these moneymakers?

Introverted

Karen: I don't know where to go to be invisible. 

Bike Maintenace

Jeny: Your job was to put on a water bottle cage. Why is the rear wheel off?

Adam: There's an explanation for that...

I need the eggs!!

Adam: You're sitting on the cooler. 

Jen: You're a master of the obvious. 

Campsites

Adam: Have you honed in on anything on the map? NF-Counting Sheep Road?

Reputation

Jen: Why do I know Pendleton?

Adam: They have a big rodeo. 

Jen: Whiskey! That's why I know them. 

You should....

Josh: Don't you "should" me. You can gently recommend, but don't "should" me!!

Still Cable Rolling

Curtis: This was all under control until Tim woke up this morning.

Cable Rolling

Tim: Were you ever a roadie in a rock band?
Curtis:  IT HAS MEMORY!!

FSR 7174

Lost Hiker: I would so buy your bike right now. 

Jeny: Dude, I would trade you straight up for those poles and your shoes. 

I do not approve.

Dana: I don't know this song. 

Jeny/Erin/Steph/Martina:  IT'S RAINING MEN!! Hallelujah!

All Managers Meeting

Steve:  Hey Marty, type up a question for me.  Ask how we get some of the kool-aid out of the green vile.

Clout

Tim:  That would be win-win.  Too bad you don't have the power to make it happen.
Jen:  I could pretend though.
Tim:  Pretend manager, pretend results!  Hey, perfect!

Popular Books

Curtis:  How many shades of grey are there?  Have you read that one yet, Tim?

Verbage

Pete: I heard that St. Louis has implemented the plan.
John:  Well -- implemented -- that's a funny word.

Bachelorhood

Motorcycle Tim: I would seriously question the sanity of anyone that wanted to marry me.

Modes

Pat: You can breathe in the hangar and excite first wing bending. 

Brunch Buffet

Old Guy in Salad Bar Line: What is this?  I don't want salad.  I want breakfast.

Lunch

Jen: Hey Guy, how's the split pea soup today?
Guy:  Better than those burnt burgers you were cooking up last week.

Go 4 Some

Becky: They dropped a bit of plastic way down in there and just left it.
Mark: Ha!  Go 4 Zero!
Jen: This wasn't our guys.
Jason: Yeah, they Go 4 A Handful.

Meeting with Executives

Jen: I'm on vacation that week, so I can't hold the barf bag for you.
Steve: That's ok.  I'll do it on the table for effect.

Inverses

Jen: The spreadsheet of DOOM.
Pat: No, whatever the opposite of doom is.
Jen: MOOD.

Go 4 Zero

John: We have a great safety record on this floor!
Mark: Oh yeah!
Jason: Didn't you sit on a tack one time?
Mark: Oh. Yeah..

Language Barrier

Pat: I just speak a different dialect.  It's called educated.

Montana

Zana: I'm a passenger. Of course I'm drinking a beer. 

I'll call myself an athlete, but that's a stretch.

Adam: I just figured out the difference between climbing and cycling parties. At climbing parties we do pull ups. At cycling parties we weigh ourselves. 

Hydrocodone

Adam: Have you ever stood on a low step stool and said, wow -- the world looks so different from here!

Adult Pool Parties

Mikey:  It was amazing.  People were jumping naked from the Ethel Merman clamshell into the pool.  I had to apologize to Thor, the building manager.  He said, Michael -- that was the most fun that pool has seen in a DECADE.  You EARNED that citation!

Becky

Mark: Anyone who can maintain a cheerful demeanor while riding in this clown car is indeed awesome.

Picnic eats

Jen: I need some alcohol to soak up this food!

Percentage Complete

Adam:  How many do you have left?
Jen: Two-thirds.
Adam: Out of how many?
Jen:  Three-thirds.

Alter of Whiskey

Laura: Best to come at the altar sideways-- head on, the altar usually wins.

Data

Chance: Who gives a f--- about a billionth of a cent?

Corgies

Jen: Those dogs are all butts. 

Joel & Joe

Joel: If there was a Miss America of Assholes, you'd be the first runner-up. 

Motorcycle Gang Names

Chance: I vote for "Lost Boys" because then you get to wear onesies with ears & paws. 

Motorcycle Class

Chuck:  I can do two U-turns in this box on any of your bikes!  I can do it on my big bike!  Hell, I can do it in my PORSCHE!

New Job

Katie: If you look it up in the dictionary, I believe you will find "deflector of bullshit" as a synonym for manager. 

Hops

Joe: The reason people love the Pacific Northwest is because it's like Czechlosovakia. 

Post Crash

Jen: I don't think I hit the deck that hard. I don't know why I hurt so much. And don't tell me I'm old. 

Adam: Sounds like you need a dose of Toughen The F--- Up. 

Jen: Do you SEE me rockin the pink pajama pants? I don't need to toughen the f--- anything.

Dog vs Mountain Bike

Hiker: Curry, stop that! Her back wheel is not made of steak!

Interns

Pat: Be good at your job, or you'll be turned into tacos.

Tiger Summit Climb

Adam: The flat bit was nice.

Youth

Pat: Jen and Adam rode Friday, Saturday AND Sunday last week.  I'm jealous.
Christie:  Yeah, well in 10 years Lilly will be fast on the bike and Jen will be OLD.

Ladder Climbing

Jen: The make up was part of The 2013 Campaign to Care About my Appearance. 

Adam: Oh yeah? How'd that go for you?

Jen: I got a f---ing promotion. 

Flow Down

Dave: It's just about putting the decision at the lowest possible level. 

Pete: You can't get any lower than us!

Conversations with Customers

Don:  Successfully got rid of most of the channels and ALL of the expectations.  Check!

Concepts

Adam: I'm totally comfortable with the risks of climbing, but then you think about the things you're new to...

[Pan crashes to the floor.]

... Like gravity. 

Backstabbed.

Jen:  He made some reference about falling on my sword that I didn't understand.
Jim:  Well, sometimes you can fall on your sword without knowing it.
Joel:  Yeah, and you could fall on it backwards -- with someone holding it behind you.

Alternate Methods

Chris:  Jen is like the rat that chews through the maze.
Jen:  Aw, Chris -- that's so sweet!

Customers

Joel:  I hate GE.  I'm never flying anything with their engines.  And I'm never buying another light bulb.

Sexiness

Adam: I'm a middle aged, middle class white man. Take your aggression out on THIS.

Mystery Button

Adam: Ok, so the button is officially not your ejector seat.

Renton

Mike: Seriously, the car sight seeing in this town is off the hook.

Head Shot

Adam:  You look like you just switched the non-dairy creamer at the coffee station with laxative... kinda guilty, kinda nervous.

Triple

Perry: What's a three person boat?
Trent: A boat with three people.

Social Networking

Ben: Jeny tagged me in a post on Facebook!
Matt: Jeny tagged your face with a post???

Lateral Stabilizers

Bridget: Up with this shit we will not put!

Learning Zone

Tim: I think Pete should work on being an introvert.

Safety Culture

Tracy: Even Disneyland has problems.

Personalities

Kelli: I'm in the angry box.

Harbor Freight Tools

Adam: Be careful when you go in there. We don't need a MIG welder.
Jeny: Whatever. Who the f--k put you in charge?

Time to Retire

Kelvin:  His eye sight is going.  He can't see banana peels.

Time Not Wasted

Jim: I'm revalidating my passions!!

Opportunity

Chris: I'm reluctant to use that word because it usually means "doing something stupid."

Costume

Chance: Reminds me of the time I agreed to help build a worm costume, then wear it at a Port of Seattle event celebrating sustainable landscaping practices.  We constructed a 9' tall, tubular skeleton suspended from an old backpack frame, then wrapped the whole thing in pink/beige fabric.  Going the extra mile, we added a system by which I could wiggle the thing by pulling on handles attached to cords.  Being not all that handy, the only part that wiggled was the tip - in a vaguely threatening way.   Imagine me on a stage in a 9', flesh-toned  cylinder with a wiggling tip.  Now imagine the expressions on the faces of the assembled dignitaries when I crept toward them for photographs.  Many emotions mixed in there, but, mostly, I recall horror.

I've never done crack.

Scott: Richaaaaard!!

Management Class

Matt: When I was there, they said the week before someone got hammered, took their clothes off and ran through the fountain.
Jay: Yeah! That's an urban legend! They told us too.
John: Where was the fountain? I don't remember it at all.
Frank: John, did you get your clothes back??

MT Cabin

Chance: My shit is well delegated.

31 in a 30

Mark:  Can you imagine waking up and your only job being a complete douchebag?