Head Shot

Adam:  You look like you just switched the non-dairy creamer at the coffee station with laxative... kinda guilty, kinda nervous.

Triple

Perry: What's a three person boat?
Trent: A boat with three people.

Social Networking

Ben: Jeny tagged me in a post on Facebook!
Matt: Jeny tagged your face with a post???

Lateral Stabilizers

Bridget: Up with this shit we will not put!

Learning Zone

Tim: I think Pete should work on being an introvert.

Safety Culture

Tracy: Even Disneyland has problems.

Personalities

Kelli: I'm in the angry box.

Harbor Freight Tools

Adam: Be careful when you go in there. We don't need a MIG welder.
Jeny: Whatever. Who the f--k put you in charge?

Time to Retire

Kelvin:  His eye sight is going.  He can't see banana peels.

Time Not Wasted

Jim: I'm revalidating my passions!!

Opportunity

Chris: I'm reluctant to use that word because it usually means "doing something stupid."

Costume

Chance: Reminds me of the time I agreed to help build a worm costume, then wear it at a Port of Seattle event celebrating sustainable landscaping practices.  We constructed a 9' tall, tubular skeleton suspended from an old backpack frame, then wrapped the whole thing in pink/beige fabric.  Going the extra mile, we added a system by which I could wiggle the thing by pulling on handles attached to cords.  Being not all that handy, the only part that wiggled was the tip - in a vaguely threatening way.   Imagine me on a stage in a 9', flesh-toned  cylinder with a wiggling tip.  Now imagine the expressions on the faces of the assembled dignitaries when I crept toward them for photographs.  Many emotions mixed in there, but, mostly, I recall horror.

I've never done crack.

Scott: Richaaaaard!!

Management Class

Matt: When I was there, they said the week before someone got hammered, took their clothes off and ran through the fountain.
Jay: Yeah! That's an urban legend! They told us too.
John: Where was the fountain? I don't remember it at all.
Frank: John, did you get your clothes back??

MT Cabin

Chance: My shit is well delegated.

31 in a 30

Mark:  Can you imagine waking up and your only job being a complete douchebag?