Horrible

Scott:  Well, if you had a ham sandwich with mayonaise all over it sitting outside for three days, that would be pretty horrible.  But, if you had a girlfriend with mayonaise all over her, sittting outside for three days, that might not be as horrible.

Matlab Objects

George: I feel sorry for your brain.

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Paleo Diet

Andrew: The monks drank beer, so it must be fine.

Perspective

Joe: I've got something in my eye.  Ugh.  I hope my eye doesn't fall out.
Jeny: Yeah, that would be awkward.
Joe: I might lose my perspective on things.

Thanksgiving at the Brown Turtle's

Mikey:  You know when you see a disco ball it's like a PTA safehouse.  You think, "those must be good people.  The must know good people too.  Like ABBA."

Scott: This year I did a pretty good job of pacing myself.  But next year, I'm gonna have a little bit of puu puu's, a little plate of dinner, and a big f---ing bowl of pie.

Seattle Snow

Joe:  Wanna do a 360 and see if we end up going straight???

Animal Lover

Kareem:  I once stopped traffic so that a snake could cross the road.  But don't get me wrong, I'm not some kind of super animal lover.  I ride my bike through Marymoor Park everyday and I see if I can ride close enough to the geese to kick one.  I mean, I bet I could launch one of them REALLY far.  Like, punt it all the way back to Canada.

Temperature

Bernie:  Well, Jen, no one can say that you're not warm and cozy on the inside, and if they do...
Jen: F--- 'em.

Breakfast at the lab

Joel:  I saw Bernie earlier.  He was eating Corn Flakes.  With Raisins.  Always something healthy.   To start the day anyway.  Me - I eat a can of tomatoes.
Jen: With salt and pepper, I assume.  Are they whole?  Or diced?
Joel:  Oh diced.  I used to eat whole ones, but then I dropped one and you know what happens then.  You know how they shampoo the carpets every year?  I think it's because of my whole tomato incident.
Jen:  I see.  I've been eating eggs in the morning, maybe I have it all wrong.
Joel:  You should try the tomatoes sometime.  I have two can openers at my desk and you're welcome to borrow them any time.

A New Dell

Pat: You buying a new desktop?
Fred: Yeah, I need to replace my wife's computer.
Pat: Better than replacing your wife.  Cheaper too!

Factory Testing

Don:  What did I tell you this was gonna be like?  That's right, two footballs f---ing a monkey.

More Pax

Chuck:  We *could* finish by Saturday, yes.  All the air in this room *could* fly up to that top left corner too, but I'm not worried about it.

Definition

Jaami:  Well, why don't you just try relaxing then?
Jeny:  Wait, what?  What's that?
Jaami:  I'll google it for you.
Jeny:  Great.  Maybe Wikipedia has an entry on it.

Removal of Edna

Eric: Good luck with the surgery. It's basically just removing some fat and skin, so I'm sure you can row a few days later. Duh.

Cycling Shoes

Chuck:  Beautiful, sexy and empowering?  Hell, I might get a pair!

Preflight

Ricardo:  Why are you guys all looking at each other like you've just seen fire for the first time??

College

Rachel:  I don't understand why all your classes were so hard.  Mine were easy!
Chad: That's because you got a degree in journalism.

How did that happen?

Bridget: By jove, I think we're turning in to grown ups!  Dammit.

LUC

James: Sorry my crews were being JACKMUNCHES and hogging the entire canal!

The SDL Way

Joe: Does George know his training isn't working?
Jen: No, I think we've just been discussing that amongst ourselves.
Joe: Ok.  Well, let's wait a few more days before we tell him.