Hard Questions

Mark: Got any other questions you don’t want answered? We’re having a flash sale on clueless.

Now I have a craving for falafel.

Jim: What's PITA?
Jen: Pain in the ass.

Not in the Budget

Jim: The disadvantage of doing business is that it costs money. 

Cloning

Gary: We'll just swab his cheek, put it in a test tube with some Miracle Gro, put it in the window - We'll have another Pat by the end of the week!

Skate Ski Ego Boost

Random Skier: You make it look easy!
Jeny: You didn't see me fall on my face a few miles back.
Random Skier: Don't burst my bubble.
Jeny: Ok, then you're right - I'm amazing.

Cards against Jessica

Jessica: Apparently I am losing. 

Couch Nap

Ewa: You missed a lot when you were sleeping. We're ordering crêpes and I'm friends with the cat. 

Bacon Ride

Ewa: You could put bacon on an old boot and it would be good. 

Whitefish

Chance: Oh, it's only minus 20. 

Ski Stickers

Chance: I used to have a stripper. 

Minions

Jen: You are all legal adults. You can vote...

Chance: You can drink and legally carry firearms. I'm going to trust you with this spreadsheet.

Knots

Angela: This is when I start cursing... I need more coffee. 

Evolution

Laura: God said we evolved from mudskippers. 

Glass Ceiling

Pat:  Your paper towel dispenser doesn't put out as much as mine does.  More like 77%.

Adam's iPhone

Dana: Pull up the Olympic sweater, please!

Jon Stewart

Jeny: He brings the New York Times to life for me. 

Management Perks

Jen: I have three hours of staff meetings today. And not the good kind -- not strep throat. 

Feet shot

Adam: I'm officially sick; I'm wearing slippers. 

Late to the Meeting

John: Sorry I'm late.  Did you solve all the world's problems already?
Pete:  Yeah, John you have all the action items.

Bike ride #4

Pat: I wish my seat were made of jello. Or my butt was made of diamonds. 

They both breathe oxygen.

Mark: Pax is just like Kona!

You can get rid of your real friends anytime.

Tim:  Sorry to have to break it to you.  But better me than your real friends.

Grand Ridge

Adam: I was going to lecture you on that later. Now it's later. 

Hey!

Pat:  Hey Tim... T-Dog... Killer T!

Calendar

Jen:  What day is June 30?
Pat:  I guess Wednesday.
Rich:  Monday.
Pat:  Shit.

Al Gore

Jen: Didn't he invent the internet?
Pat: He did.  I was there.

Lists

Jessica: It's all on the sharepoint. There's no hiding now. 

Twitter

Adam: Where else can you tie in British history, Star Wars and medicine?

Back to GVT'ing...

Jen:  Where's Miller?
Rich:  Getting us more beer.

BCS

Adam: There are only three bowls: the Rose Bowl, the Orange Bowl and the... Rose Bowl!

Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer

Mom: I know these songs better than you because I was in elementary school for many years. You were only there for the requisite five. 

Heavy Sigh

Becky: How was Christmas with your grandkids?

Lori: I don't like teenagers. 

Andrew, Technology Genius

Andrew: How do I get the sound to work on this? Oh right - turn up the volume. 

One pair of shoes.

Andrew: I should have brought my cowboy boots for sledding. 

Leopard Socks

Regan: No one has ever said, "pour some cement on you."

Jen: Significantly different than "pour some sugar on me."

Adam's Opinions

Regan: Oh I forgot -- you're on the f'ed up side of the couch. 

Dogs are the shit.

Regan: You just stuck your feet in my face. I'm not rubbing your belly. 

Fork

Adam: What just happened?

Martina: Regan just got a dinglehopper. 

Food Safety for the Holidays

Kelli:  The holidays bring on the most incidents of food poisoning, and they can't all be attributed to my mother.

Cheese is not linear.

Don: Takes me back to sophomore engineering: you have a linear, homogenous, weightless structure. 

Rebels

Jen: Who wants to help me break some rules?
Mark/Tom/Tim: I do!

Dave the Muppet

Dave: You know what I just discovered? YouTube!

GRE

Pat: I'm a one trick pony and it's calculus. 

After Dinner

Regan: Can we take these cookies and go upstairs?

The Flaming Nard in the Sky

Regan: I found my legs in the plumbing department. 

Traffic Pattern

Adam: It's difficult to get across Green Lake. 

Regan: Unless you had a hovercraft. 

The 'Burb

Emily: This baby corners like she's on rails. 

Mike: I've drifted it before!

Why would you hide?

Mike: If I were Bigfoot, I'd be like "look at me, I'm f-ing Bigfoot!"

Mike's Kitchen

Adam: It's ok. We have coriander. Let the zombies come. 

Driving with Arthur

Steven: Don't go, it's not green. 

Tele Skiing

Mark: You were really good at it. Until you went into the fence. 

Adam: Didn't I break the fence?

Eric

Josh: She couldn't have done better. Well - she could. She could have married me. 

Enough!

Seth: This isn't going anywhere and I don't see it going anywhere. 

Spice Cabinet

Arthur: Honey, is this oregano or is it pot?

Landing at JFK

Pilot: ...The temperature is still above freezing which is, um, good for us. 

Thanksgiving morning.

Jo: I know you think all I've been doing all morning is drinking and cooking but no!!

I haven't driven in months.

Josh. I'm on the lawn. 

Free Windows 8.1 Upgrade

Seth: It's like - hey! Do you like AIDS? We have herpes for free!

Customer Service

Toby: There's stuff I said I wouldn't do on Friday, and when people tell me today that I said that, I say, I don't even remember saying that.  Hey - I had a whole weekend to forget that with alcohol; it's Monday and I'm here to help you again.

I stole this from the showroom.

Regan: This tank top didn't belong on the rack -- it belongs on MY rack!!

At Home

Jen: Oh no! The finger puppet fell into the bacon grease!

Chance: I saw that and assumed there had been a terrible accident so I didn't inquire any further. 

Bar Time

Joe: What time is it?
Jen: Time for me to go to bed.
Joe:  Ten o'clock!  Holy shit, I have to go home and watch Golden Girls!

Monologuers

Andy: Well, I'll bet there weren't any awkward silences!

Workshop Integration

Tim: So what are we going to do when we go downstairs?

Keith: Eat cookies. 

MNF

Darvin: Was that final play pass interference or was it not?

Most Everybody: Pass interference!

Tim: It was a hug. 

Workshop

Dennis: Thanks for being here - as if you had a choice. 

Final GVT Question

Jen: Why did it trip on shaker 6?

John: Because there's an amoeba. 

Wedding Roles

Adam: If I were a ring bear, I would just hibernate. 

A Walk in the Woods

Adam: I don't understand why people bring a sidearm hiking. What are they defending themselves from?

Jen: Go-pheirs. 

More Physics

Adam: Where are my booties?

Jen: Look on the floor; that's where gravity puts stuff. 

Perpective

Tim:  One guy's panic is another guy's dirty o-ring.

Dr. Lim

Jen: He endorses Nutella!!

Adam: Who wouldn't?

IDEAS

Tim: So this breathes new life into them staying in their old ways?

Freecycle

Adam: The Element is the perfect "oh, there's something to pick up on the curb!" vehicle. 

Capeline

Tim: Best next thing to Nepalm.

Tuna Head

Jen: Hey, come here.  Gaia's head smells like tuna.
Adam: Ok.  The dog rolls around in the grass -- that's been peed on by hobos -- and you tell me her head smells fishy, and that I should come get up close and personal with it.  I don't think so.

Paragliding

Tim: These are things you can only do in a country without lawyers!

A previous GVT.

Mark:  These people couldn't run a pie eating contest, let alone a GVT.

Jen: Maybe we should have a pie eating contest instead.

...
Joe: What kind of pie?

Vet Assistant

Mark:  In high school, I picked the fur off kitties' balls before surgery.

Cursed

Yenew: Why did we start with test point 100?  Why couldn't we have started somewhere else??  WHY???

Instrumentation Issues

Mark:  I'm not quite to the point where I'll promise to start going to church.  It ain't that bad.

The Cure

Adam: Oh, you had THAT kind of night.

Sleeping Puppy

Jen: She is PTFO'd.

Adam: She had a trying day. 

Finance Focal

Pete: Alan and I are BFF. 

Second Shift

Pat: So what exictiting things have happened here?
Mark: You're looking at it.
Jen: The door opened earlier.  That was kind of exciting.
Mark: AND YOU DIDN'T TELL ME!?!?  I'M RIGHT OVER HERE!

Politics

Pat: Everyone knows the facts have a liberal bias.

Weirdness

Adam: Gaia, you're licking the concrete, that's weird.

Gaia: Whatever. You guys have motorcycles in the living room. THAT'S weird. 

Love

Adam: You can have the last egg. 

Jen: You do love me!

Adam: By love, you mean tolerate, right? That's a kind of love, I'm pretty sure. Jesus said so. 

Dirty Jokes

Chance: I have a finely tuned, highly cultivated inner 13 year old. Nothing gets by - NOTHING!

Workout Regimen

Jo: I don't know what you're doing at the gym - you must be handing out towels cuz you're not doing anything else. 

2013 Volcano Run

Wayne: It went from deluge to holy f-in shit!

Fancy Dinner

Adam: That's how math works -- it adds up fast. 

Texas Education System

Richard: I can tell Adam has not yet been saved. 

Dylan Visits

Adam: Parenting is exhausting. 

Fire

Marty: Yesterday we had an un commanded smoke release from a resistor that shouldn't have released smoke. 

Transition to Management

Steve: Can you cover for me next week as I travel to St. Louis with my Go4Zero helmet on?

Wayne

Pauline: Some people's purpose in life is to serve as a bad example. 

Sudafed & Caffiene

Patrick: School is back in session so my little vectors brought me a cold. 

Strength

Chance: When I was rowing I could do 8 pull ups. And then I would stop, because it would get hard. And it preserved the idea that I could do infinite pull ups. 

Stale Data

Pat: Did someone forget to pay the telemetry bill this month?

Phil: It's kind of like being stuck in a room with a pole dancer with the lights turned off.