Dinner Date, part 2

Jen: I can't believe I ate all that.
Phil: Well the good news is you don't look any fatter than when you walked in.

Dinner Date, part 1

Thai waitress: Are you meeting the lady for dinner?
Phil: I don't know if I'd call her a lady.

Dessert Panic

Seth: I think I'm bleeding chocolate!

Wine rep

Jo: Oh my God, that's delicious. Who sells that to you? Oh wait, it's me.

Dieting

Joel:  No salt here; I've been on a diet.
Pat: Joel, you're looking quite svelte.
Joel:  Yeah, well I'm f--king starving.  All the time.

Leaving Early

Pat:  How to tell Pat's 22... going to buy Halo 4!

The Laws

Tim: Ask him about the laws of physics.
Phil: What laws??